My father's death, written November 15, 2007

My father died last week, November 2, 2007, to be exact. (Full legal name Robert Joseph Stearns, but he was known as "Rocky" to almost everyone most of his life.) I went up to Seattle this last Sunday (November 11) for his memorial service. Most of my family on that side came, including an aunt and cousin I hadn't seen in over a decade.

My feelings are decidedly mixed. I wasn't close to my father for a variety of reasons, and I have a lot of conflicted feelings. There was some affection, and recognition that we are alike in many ways. There's also anger, and grief that we weren't able to connect ultimately. And conversely relief that it is no longer possible. I'm just working through things as they come up as best I can.

In the mean time, of course things are busy here, and there's plenty to keep me occupied. We're in the midst of a reorganization in the temple, and some of my jobs are being shuffled around. So new-ish things to learn about, and old-ish things to let go of. On days when I am not, shall we say, at my best, the community here is always understanding and supportive without interfering with the process. On days like today when things are feeling pretty good, then everything just goes humming along, and I can be understanding and supportive of others if they are having down days.