Monday, May 03, 2010

Day Off

Yesterday fatigue came down like a ton of bricks on my shoulders. My ears are kind of ringing, and have been for a couple of days. Maybe I'm fighting a bug, definitely need rest. So today, with a rare empty calendar day, I'm resting. I have two more books from the library (finished one last night), and will lie down soon with them (or maybe even nap).

Wanted to share the link to a recent dharma talk that I did (April 18). It was a difficult talk to do, since I was talking more about myself than I really wanted to. And there are difficult bits about my family in there. I don't think I could have done the talk, let alone posted the link, much before now. My father is safely dead, and most of that generation. My mother (who might be upset by a line or two in there) is still alive, but confused enough that she is not likely to find the link or hear the talk. My one remaining aunt is open-minded enough to be more curious about the talk than judgmental of it. Still, I don't think I'll post the link on my family e-mail list. Anyone who finds it here will probably be fine. If you want it in printed format (pdf), let me know and I can send that.

Anyway, the talk went well, and I feel a lot better for having done it. I've been in the process of transforming from inside out, and am beginning to see someone emerge from the rubble. Not sure who she is yet, and she's still going through changes, no question about that, but it's interesting to watch. Much less fear now, much more curiosity.

Just finished two weeks worth of house- and cat-sitting. It was far enough away that they left me the use of their car (which worked well as I could take them to the airport and pick them back up when they came in) in order to get back and forth. It took the cat and I a week to figure out each others' schedules (she was out for 3 days and then 4 days), but eventually synced up, and then were fine. She slept on the bed with me at night, whcih I gather her owners don't allow, but it always seems to me that if I'm spending that little time at the house (i.e., I work 12-16 hour days most of the time), the least I can do is have sleeping time together. In any case, I'm now back in my own room, in my own bed, and resting.


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